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[29 Oct 2010 | 3 Comments | ]
The Top Ten Worst “Sexy” Halloween Costume Variants

s it’s almost Halloween, I’m sure you’re planning on getting dressed up in your favorite costume and hitting some festivities this weekend. If so, you’re probably anticipating the ever-poular trend of young ladies using the holiday as an excuse to bare as much flesh as possible…

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[2 Jul 2010 | One Comment | ]
Top <strike>Ten</strike> <i>Thirteen</i> Movies To Enjoy on Independence Day

These aren’t necessarily movies about patriotism or America’s greatness, they’re just movies that I think are specifically appropriate to this weekend. Movies that, while you’re watching them, will inspire you to say, “America… fuck, yeah!”…

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[11 May 2010 | 4 Comments | ]
The Top Ten Junk Shots in Cinema History

Is this gay? Maybe a little, but somehow TB and I stumbled across the concept during a phone conversation about Skype. It seemed really funny at the time, and what with the king of dick jokes being kicked off a plane for his unseemly girth I thought it a timely topic. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch. Regardless, here’s your penises…

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[15 Apr 2010 | No Comment | ]
Doctor Who’s Greatest Hits

I was going to write a history of Doctor Who, but Wikipedia has a done a perfectly good job of that already. After abandoning that idea, I started a piece about why I loved the show so much. I got a couple of paragraphs in and realized my posts throughout the week would pretty much cover that.

So today I bring you, The Retarded, a list of the ten very best episodes of Doctor Who; with a special treat at the end for those who make it. It ain’t Jelly Babies, but it’s something.

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[2 Apr 2010 | No Comment | ]
The Top 10 Biggest Disco Cash-ins by Rock Musicians

If you’re not aware of it, by 1979, there was so much disco on pop radio that you could probably count the number of non-disco songs on one hand that hit the number one spot. And during those formative years for the disco genre, many established musicians decided to cash in with disco tunes of their own…

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[27 Mar 2010 | 2 Comments | ]
The Best and Worst Celebrity Guests in WrestleMania History

Celebrities have been a tradition for a quarter of a century at WrestleMania. Sometimes the results of the celebrity appearance turn out a little better than others. Here’s a list of the best and worst WrestleMania celebrities…

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[23 Mar 2010 | 5 Comments | ]
Top Ten Movies Featuring Wrestlers

You’ll notice this isn’t “Top Ten Movies Starring Wrestlers”. If it was, the list would be a bunch of Rock movies and They Live. Flicks with wrestlers above the title don’t tend to be all that great – No Holds Barred, anybody? No? How about Sting’s movie? Did anybody even see that one…

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[26 Feb 2010 | No Comment | ]
My Ten Best Movies

This list was a little easier than the one about movies that should die. The only tough part here was trimming it down to ten. One major difference between the two lists is that I am going to step up and list my favorites in order of preference. Any time I am writing something like this I use a simple “would I rather” system; as in, “Would I rather watch Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie or Citizen Kane?” Obviously, GPK moves further up the list…

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[19 Feb 2010 | 4 Comments | ]
Ten Movies That Should Die

I have a wretchedly boring job that occurs in twelve hour shifts, so I am somewhat prolific against my will. I want to entertain, but my main motivation is making time go by. This means that there is not much of an editorial process between my brain and my fingers. What you read is pretty much how the thought occurred to me. My facts may not always be right and my tone certainly may not always be nice, but I think it is more fun for everybody if you get honest, unfiltered me. Except, of course, for the fact that I write from under a mask and a silly pseudonym…

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[12 Feb 2010 | 3 Comments | ]
The Top Ten Best TIE Fighter Variants

There are few vehicles from the Star Wars universe that are more iconic than the TIE Fighter. Sure, the Millennium Falcon may get the most love, and Rebel ships like the X-Wing are up there in popularity too, but nothing else really is really more identifiable more than those sleek, compact little bastards that swarmed our heroes in countless space battles from the original Star Wars Trilogy…

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[19 Apr 2007 | 4 Comments | ]
Singing Actors: A Top Ten List

       

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[5 Mar 2007 | 5 Comments | ]

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[21 Jun 2006 | One Comment | ]

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[15 Oct 2005 | 2 Comments | ]

With all of the zombie madness around here I thought it fitting to compile a little list of the best lines you may or may not remember from the zombie genre. If you haven’t seen one of these movies, perhaps you’ll be inspired to check it out…

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[25 Sep 2005 | One Comment | ]

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[2 Sep 2005 | One Comment | ]

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[16 Jun 2005 | 3 Comments | ]

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[15 Sep 2004 | One Comment | ]

Articles, Top Tens »

[12 Aug 2004 | 33 Comments | ]
Why the Star Wars Special Editions Suck

So George Lucas finally bit the bullet and decided to release the original STAR WARS trilogy on DVD. That’s fantastic, no? I mean, finally, after years of waiting, we can finally have digital, pristine, unfading copies of the original three movies that captured our hearts over twenty years ago. Everything is peachy and birds are singing and the world just became a better place, right?…

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[27 Jun 2004 | No Comment | ]

The American Film Institute just counted down their top 100 movie songs of all time. And while it seems rather convenient that the list was revealed just a few days before I posted this article, the connection of the two is purely coincidental. This is actually something I’ve had planned for a few weeks, but simply lacked the motivation to get off my ass and compile it.